"It Doesn't Matter if You're Black or White..."

...hair! Get it? Haha yes Michael Jackson seemed completely appropriate when referencing to a change in color. His words are always so wise... But that's a bit off topic. Yesterday I had a very emotional and hormonal day where I cried and was sad most of the day. I finally find a color I like and feel suits me an makes me feel happy, beautiful, and all around complete, and then I need to go back to basics. Seems my IPs are not ok with hair dye because of the toxic chemicals and I am completely understanding their view on that. The docs say it is safe to do after 1st trimester but they are not willing to risk anything and I completely respect that. I've also witnessed docs say that narcotics are safe during pregnancy but only by default that there is not enough research to say that it is in fact harmful... So with that said... Doc doesn't always know best. So I did some research on some all natural, all herbal hair coloring products that use henna, roots, extracts, and one even contained coffee powder (this one specific brand I looked into). I thought it was a great suggestion and alternative and compromise and since it isn't toxic chemicals, there wouldn't be harmful fumes to be breathing in and it's all good things. Nope. That's a no go either.... SOOOOOOOO I had no choice but to change my color. I'm not exactly thrilled but I completely understand the outcome. I'm just not sure I can be happy like this. It's only the day after so I will have to have time to feel better about it. I'm already feeling slightly better than yesterday so I'm hopeful that the acceptance and happiness will slowly creep it's way back into my days. I just need to remember that the outcome will be such a wonderful blessing to them in the end and need to keep that in mind. 2 people have posted things yesterday that I'm going to share with you. Not knowing my struggles yesterday, they were such a blessing to me. Definitely God's work if you ask me. So the first one was from a lovely lady I know on Instagram that is also cycling close to me with her treatments. It says "never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." Such truth. Ever since I have met my wonderful IPs, there has not been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought of them and their baby/babies. I think and hope and pray for them. I really would love for God to use me to help them make their family a little more complete. If it is not His will to happen with my IPs, if something should occur, then it's His will and who am I to argue and be mad. He may have bigger plans for them. But I'm praying to does work with them. We generally get along so well and have a great deal in common, so it seems like a good match. Anyhow... I'm straying off again... The second thing posted was a friend of mine on Facebook. She posted a fortune cookie paper that read "do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest." We had a couple hiccups in the very beginning process and it has gotten better. We are still in the beginning, so I have faith that once the stress is slowing down, it will be a bit easier.